Kuwait Drivers Education

Traffic rules of Kuwait

1. Right of way

Right of way belongs to the vehicle which has it’s bumper 5cm ahead of another, irrespective of whether approaching from the left or right.

2. The Kuwait scissors

When in 3 lanes of traffic, all traffic wishing to turn right should occupy the left hand lane and vice versa. One must then wait until the last possible moment before crossing the other two lanes at right angles to the traffic flow, to do so too early is to lose face.

3. Overtaking

There are four ways to get past the car in front; to the left, to the right, over the top and underneath, also known as undertaking.

4. The weave

Never hold a steady speed in one lane. You can gain as much as 20 meters over a distance of 10 kilometers by continuously swerving from one lane to another whilst invoking rules 1 and 10. The minimum speed for this maneuver is 150kph.

5. Right of way (buses)

Buses do not have right of way; they just take it. Bus horns are frighteningly louder than any others. There are some official boarding and alighting points but the buses will drop off and/or pick up passengers at any place, any time, in traffic, provided that the passenger is sufficiently fleet of foot and oblivious to the threat of traffic flowing around him.

6. Pedestrians

These may cross the road when, where, and however they wish. Be they old, young, agile or decrepit, they have the right to step into the traffic and dodge, dance or merely stolidly move across. However, motorists are encouraged to do their best to hit them, preferably at speed.

7. Traffic lights

There are nine possible combinations of traffic lights in use in Kuwait, they being; red, amber, green, red plus amber, red plus green, green plus amber, red plus green plus amber, flashing amber, and all off. Any selection of these can be found on any one set of traffic lights. The meanings of the various arrangements are not known, but if crossing when the lights are red (or any other combination) and you see a car crossing in front of you, make sure you hit it squarely in the side, if possible, at speed.

8. U-turns

These are used for changing direction. If possible try not to pull out if a car is going past in the outside lane of the croadway you want to pull into. If you are in a hurry, the somersault and roll method is a quicker way of achieving the same result, but avoid the lamp posts in the central reservation. (Please see photo above)

9. Parking

a) Short term: If you need to, just double or treble park, after all the traffic CAN get around you.

b) Long term: Park alongside a yellow and black curb. If you are lucky the police will fit the car with an anti-theft device or tow it to a secure car park. There is however a standard charge for these services.

10. Mirrors

These are not, contrary to popular belief, for looking for vehicles behind you, but are for grooming, adjusting gutrah’s & seeing where the parsley is stuck to your teeth.

11. Use of vehicle warning systems

a) Horn: Is to be used only in the following situations

• the vehicle in front failed to depart within 1.5 secoonds from any traffic light involving a green or amber light(or any shade of light... see point 7.)



• You notice a passenger on the side of roadway.(He may be inclined to step into traffic without your curteous honk)



• The vehicle in front or beside you did not give way while you are trying to perform points 1 through 4.



• You feel like honking the damn horn.
  

b) Signal lights: Is to be used only in the following situations:

• There is no situation in which a signal light is actually required. Common sense would say that they will know you are changing lanes or turning by the honking of your horn.

c) Hazard lights: To be used in the folloowing situations:

• If you are forced to slow doown to the posted speed limit by traffic moving at a slower than expected rate



• If you are double or treble parking(point 9). Again, please note, parking is acceptable anywhere and at anytime as long as the hazards are correctly used.



• If you are unsure which direction you will be turning(only time signalling is appropriate). The hazards provide the ability to signal both a right and left turn simultaneously. Other traffic goers are to use their descretion to determine your actual intentions.



• If you wish to run oover a pedestrian(point 6). The running over of women and small children is perfectly acceptable as loong as hazards are used and you have given the 2 quick curteous honks.

Thank you for reading this safe driving tutorial.

Till next time.

P.S. Happy Mother's Day Stella!!

Hard to believe the places I have to dig sand out of !!!

I just thought I would take some time out of, what I will refer to as my busy schedule, to tell of the joys of driving in a Sandstorm. Being from Canada, we get the joys of driving in damn near every type of weather condition known to man, and I was not expecting to find sandstorms to be that much different. Although the visibility is the same as driving through a really thick fog, with low visibility, the joy comes from the fact that no vehicle, no matter how expensive, is sealed well enough to keep this shit from getting up your nose.
The above picture was taken at mid-day while I was travelling down the highway which runs north from Kuwait to Iraq. This normally would be a bright, sun high in the sky, kind of day. The visibility was actually pretty good on this day, but the dust that hangs inside of the vehicle is still a pain in the ass. With the wind that is blowing the sand, blasting at the side of the vehicle, it sounds almost like a fairly hard rain. The sand/dust seeps into the vehicle though and hangs the same as if you were going to beat the dust out of your floor matts inside the vehicle. Blowing sand, like blowing snow, will get into your eyes, mouth, ears and nose: but unlike snow, this SHIT DON'T MELT. It is with you all day. No amount of blowing your nose, or rubbing your eyes seems to help when it is bad enough. Nothing short of a warm shower standing on your head, seems to wash the sand from all the crevices, at least on me, that this sand has crept its way into.

The picture above is taken on another day, at around 8 in the morning. Still normally a fairly bright time of day, the dust in the air has seemed to cancel out the sun. I know that I need to wear extra tight underwear and don't bother putting in my contact lenses when the weather forcast is kind enough to forcast " dust later today, with possibility of dust through the night, with dust again tomorrow." WTF, I didn't know dust was one of the elements of weather, but I guess I can chalk it up as another lesson learned.

Till next time,

Brett Out!!

What the hell's with all the sand?

Greetings again from the land of sand. I know, due to the constant reminding of my Mother, that my Blog's have been few and far between. I would like to say it is because I am so terribly busy curing cancer, or something as important, but instead I will make no excuse. Not sure if it is lack of inspiration or motivation but, low and behold, today I have something to say.

First off, I would like to introduce you to one of the many camels I pass to and from my way to site each day. They are a terrible nuisance when it comes to them on the roads. They saunter at their own pace and are not overly concerned with the bumper of my Mitsubishi almost knocking them at the knees.(Mom always asked when I would post a picture of a camel)

The other day at work I had a meal very unlike anything I have had before. Maybe it is due to the fact that I am not the most worldy person that you may meet, but to me this was a few shades off the norm. I was informed by my Operations Manager that we were going to have a party at work for lunch. I don't have time to explain the differences between his idea of partying and mine, but we will just say that he meant we were having lunch. Lunch was held on a rug, with all of us sitting on the floor surounding what was to be the root of my gut ache that afternoon. In the picture, if you look in the middle, right in front of the grinning egyptian, you will see a large platter. This platter is a bed of rice which is topped with a whole roasted lamb. When I say whole I also would like to clarify that that includes the head, along with the tongue, eyes and brain. After one of the men tears into the lamb with his hands and starts tossing pieces of meat to each of us, we begin to eat. They throw chunks, torn by hand, of the best pieces to myself and the operations staff. at this point I suppose I should be flattered. They then proceed to offer me part of the brain which our maintenace supervisor dug out of the skull with his hands. Not wanting to be a killjoy I, with which was best described as false enthusiasm, agreed to eat it. Not something I will place very high on my favorite culinary experiences, but an experience it was all the same.



Well after a meal like we had that day on site, their was only one way to get the mushy tast of sheeps brain out of mouth. A couple drinks of bootlegged Whiskey, which has to be the most expensive liquid I have ever seen. At what would be $200 canadian per bottle, you could see why it is reserved for special occasions, of which washing brain out of my teeth does count.

Well i hate to keep it so short, but the weather is beautiful and the Vodka is chilled, so it is time to head out for the weekend. Tune in next time, when I tell of the joys of driving in a sandstorm. Gotta love the desert.

Baldwin Out!!

News Article of the day

I know that this is the second post of the day, but I had to share an article I read in the Arab Times. An english newspaper here in Kuwait which gives me some laughs on most days. The article is from the crime section.

‘Fun’ leads to pregnant girl
KUWAIT CITY :
Police are looking for four youths for making a 20-year-old Kuwaiti woman pregnant, reports Al-Dar daily. The pregnancy was discovered by the mother and it was confirmed when the girl was taken to a hospital.
When the mother filed a complaint with the Maidan Hawalli Police Station, the girl admitted to having ‘fun’ with the youths.

Now I am not sure if I am the only one that sees the humour in this article. If so then I will share my thoughts on why I think it is somewhat rediculous:

1. 4 youths got her pregnant?
2. The mother discovered it? Wouldn't the daughter have known first.
3. Just having 'Fun' gets you pregnant. I thought you actually had to have sex.
4. It makes the crime column in a national newspaper.

Maybe it is just me but I think it is somewhat humorous.

Baldwin out.

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Inshallah

This post has been a couple weeks in the making. Not in the composition of what to write, but in the escalating of my blood pressure to the point where I need a release. To start off with I would like to introduce to the non-muslims out there, being most likely everyone that reads this blog, the word "Inshallah". Inshallah literally means 'If Allah wills', or in general terms 'god willing'. I have no problem with the word itself or someone using the term god willing. The problems arise with the incesent use of this word. Upwords of 20 times a day I hear this word used and have refined its definition to mean ' not F**king likely'.

The word Inshallah is used at the end of almost every sentence when someone is stating when and if they are going to do something. For example, I am going to add a new blog post every day from now on, Inshallah. Since everyone reading knows me fairly well, then you will understand that this means 'not f**king likely'. When I ask someone who works on the project with me when I can expect to see a certain report, the response I get is usually 'tomorrow morning I will have it for you Mr. Brett, Inshallah'. Again this means 'not F**king likely'. i am more likely to experience the second coming of Allah himself than to recieve said report anytime close to when they said it was to be completed.

Currently I am trying to get my actual driver's license in Kuwait. This was supposed to have been done close to 2 weeks ago. Every 2nd day i would get the reply 'tomorrow, Inshallah'. I would be more pleased to accept the response of ' whenever the hell I feel like it', than for them to blame their god on them being lazy. Although I am not a muslim and have no problem in them using their god as an excuse, it still chaps my ass. One of these days they may take responsibility for their own lack of motivation.

Now don't take this post as me being negative, as I more hope for this to be insightful. The next time you think of replying to someone that ' god willing, you will have________ done' or ' god willing, I will be there by ______ time', then for crying out loud, get off your ass and make something happen.

Well that is my rant for today. I will try and update you all every day from now on, Inshallah.

Baldwin out.

Dry country

The crew at LFPP.(notice the handsome bugger in the middle)

Once again I must admit that my updates have been few and far between. Life has been good so far and I am slowly getting used to the change of pace in Kuwait. Nothing here happens very fast. It seems that when dealing with people over here the biggest thing to get used to is the fact that nothing needs to get done today, that is whats tomorrow is for. There is always a tomorrow. I must be getting the hang of it, since that seems to be attitude I use when updating this blog.

Most of my time here since the last post has been fairly uneventful. I have been keeping busy with work and have kept out of trouble for the most part. Probably the most exciting thing I have done in the last 2 weeks was to get a haircut. Although it doesn't sound that exciting, I must say that it was an experience. I decided at around 7 o'clock in the evening that a haircut was in order, so out the door of the apartment I go in search of a barber. Walking around town I see alot of places that give the resemblance of a regular barber shop or hair salon. Here the signs outside say "Saloon", and not the type I prefer. Down the street from my apartment I find a barber shop or Saloon that was open and there was no one else waiting other than the Indian guy in the chair getting all dolled up. I am glad I got to see what I was in for before sitting in the chair myself. First off I would like to say that this barber, or whatever they are called here, does not speak any english. So the adventure begins.

I sit in the chair and as I tell him how I want my hair cut, he just smiles and nods. Now I have seen this smile and nod before, I get it from my driver every day. It means I have no friggin clue what you are saying. After some hand jestures I think we are on track. As he is finishing with the hair cut I tell him that it is short enough. Well that just so happens to be one word he knows. Short. Forget about short enough or not any shorter. All he understands is short, so back to work he goes. After some more hand jestures and comments I find one more word he understands. Stop.

So with my new do you would think that the episode is over. Oh no, it is just beginning. He proceeds to start smacking me upside the head with the sides of his hands. Any loose hairs that were still on my head have now been swatted half way across the room. After smacking me around a bit, he then begins to give a head massage. after that he begins to grab my hands and crack all the joints in my hand and shoulder by yanking on my arm, apparently this is supposed to feel good. Now this is the point at which I was glad I had seen the last guy in the chair. The barber walks behind me and grabs my head as if he is Steven Seagal and is about to break my neck. Watching the previous guy gave me the privelage of knowing that he was about to jerk my head in such away that it is amazing anyone lives through it. Once again this is supposed to feel good. Not today, not ever. When he grabs for my head I swatted his hands away and once more used one of the only 2 words he understood. Stop.

So that was my first experience with getting a hair cut over here. I walk out after paying what would be the equivelent to 4 dollars canadian and carry on my merry way. No broken neck, but a little dizzy from the slaps upside the head. The picture here shows my new cut as I am giving a safe driving award to one of our technicians.

Other than the hair cut, my adventures have been somewhat limited. I must have been getting a little miserable at work though, so I was given a gift from who is now my favorite Indian(from India, not native). About a week ago he walked into my office and handed me a bag. He tells me "here you go Mr. Brett. This stuff works really well". Inside the bag is a 2.5L jug of ethanol. This is analytical lab grade ethanol. 100%, 200 proof, straight alcohol. His only word of warning is, "you best mix it with some water". Thanks for the tip.

Well that is all for now, hopefully I will have more to share in the near future.

Till then,

Baldwin Out

Enjoying the Winter

I know it has been awhile since my last post. I hope everyone had a good holiday season, and a very white Christmas. I willl say that I enjoyed my very brown Christmas. After hearing the weather reports from back home, it has reaffirmed my decision to move to the desert. Christmas day here was 20 above and that was just fine by me. I have been lucky enough to meet some very nice people since being here. One couple in particular has spoiled me on numerous occassions. They had invited me over for Christmas, and had the works. I had the turkey, the tree and even christmas carols. I even enjoyed a couple barley sandwiches. It was quite different sitting around at christmas and in the background around 5 o'clock hearing the loudspeakers from the mosques blaring out their muslim prayers. It was different to say the least.



New years here was also quite the time. I rang in new years 9 hours before everyone back home. The new year came in in pretty much the familiar way, lots of booze and even quite a few women, a majority of which are school teachers from all over. Even though kuwait is a dry country, there is still a time and a place for everything, including getting a buzz on. Instead of having bars here, the people have house parties, where the booze flows freely. I have been to a couple of these parties, and will say that I have met some of the most interesting people I have ran into in my life. I would like to go into more detail, but you never know who reads these things. We will just say that I am not going thirsty here in the desert.





While enjoying what is the middle of winter here, I have managed to get out a bit more lately. I was lucky enough to have a tour guide the one evening, who I met at the new years party, take me around and show me some of the shopping areas. The picture above overlooks the fountain in the middle of the mall. Even the palm trees here deserve their own spot light. This mall is along the coast, and there you can see the fishing boats as well as the yaughts which will forever be far above my means. It is a quite interesting contrast of old and new. The place, along with many others is interesting to see day or night. I will post more pictures later, after I get a chance to travel around on my own. Once I am driving myself it will be much easier, rather than with my driver who cringes every time he sees me reach for my camera.




I hope to post again sooner than the 3 weeks it took me for this one. There is alot going on, and I have been keeping busy with work, probably more so than neccessary. I am sure once things settle down and become more familiar, I will find more time to take pictures and write about them here.



Till then, take care and have a happy new year.




Baldwin Out!!!
(doesn't sound near as cool as when Seacrest says it, does it?)